Of Lemons and Pineapple
by Jake Caldefore
Summary: Shawn's story of how the pineapple came to be - and how he acquired an enemy on the way. Oneshot songfic to "Lemon Tree" by Fool's Garden.


Songfic to "Lemon Tree" by Fool's Garden

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

Shawn hated lemons.

_I__'m sitting here in the boring room  
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon_

Of course, lemons and pineapples both had a tangy, sour taste to them. Yet, he hated lemons but loved pineapples.

_I'm wasting my time  
I got nothing to do_

Granted, lemons were pretty much the sourest fruit you could find. It left a bitter taste in the mouth and left his mouth and lips tingling, eves screwed up in the pain and ferocity of the citric acid that raged from the yellow fruit.

_I'm hanging around  
I'm waiting for you  
But nothing ever happens and I wonder_

The first time he'd tried a lemon was back in '87, when he was a mere ten-year-old.

_I'm driving around in my car  
I'm driving too fast_

Oh boy, he had learned his lesson.

_I'm driving too far  
I'd like to change my point of view_

Whenever he saw, smelled, or even mentioned anything distantly related to lemons he could feel the rush of enzymes in his mouth, leaving that disgusting dry and bitter feeling he got from eating sour candy.

_I feel so lonely  
I'm waiting for you  
But nothing ever happens and I wonder_

It was unfortunate that Juliet flavored nearly everything with lemon juice.

_I wonder how  
I wonder why_

He'd inwardly grimace and bite his tongue as he meekly watched her squeeze the yellow juice out of a small slice of lemon, the peel shriveling up as it dried out.

_Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky  
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree_

When he'd confronted Juliet about it, she'd merely scoffed at his trivial worries, but stopped anyway.

_I'm turning my head up and down  
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around  
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree_

She was a good friend.

_I'm sitting here  
I miss the power_

His father and Gus hadn't really picked up on his inane distaste towards the yellow demon (it's not a pun, but it's better than nothing). It was probably natural, as most people did not like anything to do with lemons.

_I'd like to go out taking a shower  
But there's a heavy cloud inside my head_

In truth, lemons burned. The lemon juice would seep into his very skin, biting at his hangnails and at his worried lip.

_I feel so tired  
Put myself into bed  
Well, nothing ever happens and I wonder_

All he wanted to do was slip under the covers and feel sorry for himself for no apparent reason. He couldn't lick his wounds. After all, they tasted like lemons.

_Isolation is not good for me  
Isolation I don't want to sit on the lemon-tree_

He turned to pineapple, his real friend, for comfort.

_I'm steppin' around in the desert of joy  
Baby anyhow I'll get another toy  
And everything will happen and you wonder_

The burst of flavor, the delicious juices… It was like the mad rush of enzymes that filled his mouth was there for a reason, and that reason was to conquer pineapples.

_I wonder how  
I wonder why_

It was his mother who brought him onto the wonder fruit. He'd a stuffed toy pineapple tucked in his crib since he was a mere child, and his fascination with the fruit had never diminished.

_Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky  
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree_

At five, he'd owned a pair of nice pineapple pajama bottoms.

_I'm turning my head up and down  
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around_

If chocolate could be a comfort food, then why couldn't a pineapple be one too?

_And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree  
And I wonder, wonder_

And so it was, that Shawn Spencer – son of Henry and Madeline, friend of Gus, Jules, Karen and Lassie-face – had found his love for pineapples.

_I wonder how  
I wonder why_

And his distaste for lemons.

_Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky  
And all that I can see, and all that I can see, and all that I can see  
Is just a yellow lemon-tree

* * *

_Congrats, you've reached the end! Go get a pineapple smoothie and drop a review!


End file.
